Religion, music and the dole

Personal experience, music tastes, friends and my studies all made me question capitalism and finally led me to fight for an alternative.

I first took an interest in politics while at Sixth Form College. College held a mock general election and I began to look into the politics of the different political parties. Having grown up in a decade of unemployment, cutbacks and increasing poverty I knew I could never vote for the Tories. I had a basic understanding that I wanted a society free from war and poverty - an equal society where people could be what they wanted to be. But I had no understanding of a system that brought those ideas together.

I got involved in the Labour Party campaign, as their policies were closest to my beliefs. However, unlike many of my contemporaries, I never really believed that the Labour Party would radically change the society we lived in. The college results mirrored the national results with defeat for King Edward's Sixth Form College Labour Party!

My entry into politics had been driven by a desire to protest against poverty and inequality and I began to look more into the alternatives. I was studying A-level religious studies, and I was particularly interested in the sociology of religion. That is where I was introduced to Marxism and Marx's teachings on religion. At the time I considered myself to be a "radical Christian". I was very critical of institutionalised religion and of religious doctrine, but I still believed that there was some "ultimate being" and ultimate truths which were reflected in Christianity, truths such as justice.

I was continually questioning my faith and what Christianity meant for me, and Marx's ideas on religion just seemed to strike a chord. The criticisms of institutionalised religion, the idea of religion maintaining the status quo and helping people to deal with the harsh realities of the world, seemed true to me.

From that, I began to look further into Marx's teachings on the economy and political systems and I became more and more convinced that Marxism reflected my basic ideas of equality and justice and an end to poverty. Possibly I had those ideas because of my religion, but class struggle seemed the way those ideas would be achieved in this world. Shortly after I ceased to consider myself a Christian.

My struggle with my religious faith was the main reason why I became a socialist, but there were many other factors involved. For example, many of my friends were on the dole. At the age of 17 I thought at first that this was quite "cool". However it soon became clear that the reality of unemployment was one of demoralisation, one of never having money to go out and be independent. I became angry that people were being forced to live in poverty and to have no way out.

My musical tastes also undoubtedly had an influence on my ideas about society. I liked music by groups such as The Jam and The Smiths, groups which were critical of Tory rule and of capitalism. The lyrics and the anger of the music reflected and to some extent shaped my hatred of the Tory government and the ideology it enshrined.

In 1993 I went to Leeds University, and was met by 30% cuts in student grants. I immediately joined the union campaign group, organised local protests and attended my first national demonstration in London. From that I got involved in other campaigns run by the union, against the BNP, against the Criminal Justice Bill, and in the women's group. It seemed to me that socialism made sense of the various campaigns and made the links between the various campaigns.

I never really looked to Parliament for change. After the mock election at college I was never really involved with the Labour Party. I believed that change would not come through Parliament but by people organising together, by working class people taking the future into their own hands.

This is why I am a revolutionary socialist.